Comparing Ourselves to Others
How to turn envy into inspiration.
Prologue
As an artist-in-residence in France, it was my great honor to be in the presence of extraordinarily talented people. Each of the individual artists I feature here were inspired to capture the magical majesty that is Château Orquevaux. While the subject remains the same, no one work of art can be compared to another, for each piece stands alone as art unto itself. One castle inspired eight different perspectives; for art (and some might say reality) is not the thing we see but how we perceive it. This realization alone can stop us from comparing ourselves to others.
One Subject, Many Views
From my perspective, artist Jill Rumley’s Impressionism captured the history of the chateau with haunting pastels, whilst Lori Colt’s playful rendition placed the chateau in the background and the sculpture of the joyful deer in the foreground with the message to bring ourselves into the present and “Believe in magic.” Bașak Notz, as an illustrator, exquisitely married her charming rendition of the chateau to her well-chosen words, inviting us to, “Take our beautiful space in this world.” Andrea Kielpinski’s ability to invoke calmness and possibility highlighted the green path to the chateau, inspiring symbolism. (The upwards direction in dreams is interpreted as progress and forward motion and the color green of prosperity). Elizabeth Desrosier’s refinement gave us an elegant stately presence of the chateau, while Susan Spater, who paints with bliss in her heart and loves her plants, gloriously showcased the flora and fauna that frame the chateau. Alexandra Lund’s work is marked by her natural ability for capturing mood, as she gifted us with the glow of the chateau at night, while Gracie Justice’s talent for fluidity, placed her mother (that’s me) in motion in the foreground and the chateau as the stage for creativity and play in the background. I adore each and every one of these lovely works of art. I’d like to thank each artist for allowing me to share their brilliant work. Please check out their websites, and support them on social media. All information is listed below. Thank you for reading this piece on breaking free from comparison mentality and sharing it with those who can really use these words.
Comparing Ourselves to Others
This essay is part of the Diderot Gallery permanent collection at Chateau Orquevaux.
Someone else’s success is not your failure. Determining individual value by comparing apples to oranges is a faulty comparison. They may both be fruit, but each provides different nutrients. At nearly any potluck there’s bound to be a standout dish that everyone is taking about. Something particular about that dish, in that setting, makes it special and noteworthy. Comparison consciousness will convince us that the most valuable person in the room is the one receiving the most attention, but just because one dish gets more recognition than the rest doesn’t make it inherently more valuable.
Somewhere on that table of food, there is a platter that’s healthier, and another that’s more cost effective, and probably one that’s more comforting and filling. None of those dishes lose their inherent value in the presence of the star dish, they just aren’t shining as brightly, in this moment, in this context, with this crowd.
The perception of the depth of any pond is determined not just by the land-to-water ratio itself, but so too by the length of the measuring stick used. The higher your standards, the taller your measuring stick, the more shallow the waters that others call deep may seem. Perception is subjective. Even with the objective awareness that eleven inches is still eleven inches, regardless of whether it’s on a ruler or a yard stick, those eleven inches nearly swallow a ruler while they don’t even get half-way up a yard stick.
Comparing ourselves to others can drive our behavior away from our inner purpose onto someone else’s track, in an urgent effort to be noticed and feel seen, heard, or appreciated now! When we do this, we lose tempo with our own pace, on our own journey, to be seen for who we are when basking in our light and not just the afterglow of someone else’s shine. In doing so, we push our own “now” moment of glory even further into the future.
When we compare, we compete; and competition creates envy. When we are envious, we are not able to praise, support, and encourage others authentically and ride the higher frequency of creativity and joy that magnetizes and creates our own vibrations of success. If we are always in competitive mode, winning becomes a part of our identity. We become defensive with a need to always be right. When we feel we have to be right, we cannot humble ourselves to face when we are wrong and take accountability for our mistakes and create repair. Without repair, we remain broken, breaking others; and we never know the fullness of our potential, never know the satiety of wholeness and integrity.
When we can turn envy into inspiration, it can motivate us to stay on track with the business of being ourselves to the fullest, which is ultimately what will lead to our most fulfilling success. Our value is not determined by the failure or success of another. Our value is determined by how much we show up in this world as ourselves.
Life is a stage, not with stars but shifting spotlights. Your time will come. Be ready for it. Keep shining. Keep showing up with the best of what you have to serve and do not concern yourself so much with what other people are serving unless it inspires you. President Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Do not be a thief! Be a generous donator of your gifts and inspire those around you to do the same. The rewards will be returned and magnified in unforeseen gifts greater than you can imagine.
Sage Justice is a writer, performing artist, and activist. She finished this piece during her October 2024 artist-in-residency at Château d’Orquevaux in France. Inspired by the magical vibes and success frequency of Beulah van Rensburg and Ziggy Attias, through what they have been able to manifest through nurturing and encouraging artists, Sage used their example of what she perceives as “magnetizing joy” to convey the alchemy needed to transform envy into inspiration. To read more words that heal, please subscribe to SageJustice.Substack.com or check out free One Minute Reads on SageWords.org, or say hello on IG @SageWords2027. Thanks for reading and supporting artists.