A Mensch is a Yiddish word that means a person of integrity or honor. It’s a good person who does the right thing even when no one is looking. A mensch is someone who doesn’t let their own fears or pain cloud their judgment; and if they do, they know when and how to say mea culpa, self-correct, and repair. They stand up for those who are marginalized and speak truth to power.
There’s a brilliant scene in the movie Armageddon Time about what it means to be a Mensch. What I’m about to share doesn’t give the story away, so I don’t consider it a spoiler. If anything, it’s more likely to make people want to see the film. The scene is between the promising child actor Banks Repeta who plays Paul, the grandson, and the accomplished Anthony Hopkins, who plays Aaron, the grandfather. Paul shares that kids at school say disparaging things about black and brown people. His grandfather asks him what he does when this happens. The grandson replies with a flippant smile, “Well obviously nothing of course,” at which point the grandfather lays into him and tells his grandson, “You were raised better than that.” He goes on to quote some of the same sentiments in a piece I wrote entitled “What My Grandmother Taught Me About Being A Friend (10 Essential Traits To A Successful Friendship)”—pointing out that people who speak unkindly of others will likely speak unkindly of you as well. Grandpa Aaron challenges his grandson to do the right thing the next time he hears someone speak hurtful words about another—to speak up for those who cannot, saying, “You be a mensch to those kids, ok? They never had your advantage.” We all need protection by those who have more privileges than us. It’s important to remember that there are all kinds of advantages in life that people take for granted, like growing up in a home with two loving parents, or having all one’s survival needs met, or even just being a white male.
I had a very caring doctor who was a Muslim mensch. We’d have conversations about the racism he faced for his religious beliefs. I asked him how I could best support him and his family. He gave me a book called, “The Heart of Islam.”
He encouraged me to educate myself so that when someone in my presence said something negative about Muslims, I could counterbalance that with the knowledge of something positive. It’s remarkable how saying something as simple as, “Hmm. That’s not been my experience of that person (or group of people),” can actually change the conversation.
When someone spoke negativity around my grandmother, she’d say something like, “Don’t tell me about the negative comment someone made about me or someone else. Tell me what you said to defend them or me.” We have more power to redirect a conversation than we realize. Even within family dynamics, we can say something like, “You’re right, so and so used to be like that, but I’ve seen a change in them,” and offer an example so that the person sitting in judgment can see that change too. A mensch doesn’t wait to be asked to speak kindness, they take the initiative to promote a positive narrative of the world we live in. They know how to see the best in themselves and others, and that’s how they change the world for the better. They look for opportunities to do good deeds, to be the change they want to see in the world, and it makes them a joyful presence to be around. I’ve never met an unhappy mensch; so if for no other reason than your own happiness, become a mensch.
Sage Justice is achingly sincere. Balancing wisdom and humor she most often writes deeply personal solution based pieces about the enduring virtues that connect us all: love and healing. She is an award-winning playwright and critically acclaimed performing artist who has appeared on stages from Madison Square Garden in New York City, to The Comedy Store in Hollywood, California. Ms. Justice is the author of Sage Words FREEDOM Book One, an activist, a member of the Screen Actors Guild and an alumna Artist-In-Residence of Chateau Orquevaux, France. She is a co-founder of The Unity Project which fuses activism with art, to educate and inspire, with a special emphasis on community engagement to end homelessness. She has a series of short reels about living with the rare genetic disorder, Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that you can find in a highlight reel on her Instagram page @SageWords2027. …
Photo by Margot Hartford