In the Closet and How to Come Out
Part 4 in the Pride Series
Part four in the PRIDE series
Do you know why most people who are in the closet stay there? Fear!
Fear of losing loved ones.
Fear of losing a career opportunity.
Fear of losing their spiritual community.
Fear of being judged by contemptuous condemnation from friends and strangers alike.
Fear of thinking every time they say “I love you” people will now take it the wrong way.
Fear of being treated differently around children from the ignorant propaganda and indoctrinated hate against the queer community.
Fear for one’s very LIFE.
The Stedfast Baptist Church in Texas has a dangerous and homophobic preacher who isolates and distorts Biblical Scripture and uses it to preach that all gay people should be killed. The Southern Poverty Law Center considers this church a hate group. Christianity is the umbrella belief that the Baptist religion (among many others) falls under. If you call yourself a Christian, you become associated with the best and the worst of Christian representation. The Holy Bible is not only filled with fire and brimstone, but also with love and forgiveness. To act on everything written in a text full of contradictions is to counteract every action. One message has to stand above all others; and the Bible clearly states what that is in Mark 12:31, “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: … ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater.” Therefore, if you are a Christian, please be aware of the power that label holds and the differing beliefs it’s connected to. For some in the LGBTQIA+ community, the word “Christian” is a word connoting judgment and fear for one’s life. If that’s not your interpretation of the Bible or belief in God, consider what you can do to keep your religion’s reputation representing its brand message, which is above all else: LOVE.
Pride
If you think people stay in the closet from a lack of pride for who they are, that’s like assuming people who don’t tell their age are ashamed of it. People maintain privacy as a form of protection. Don’t be the reason someone feels they have to hide who they are. Make it safe for your loved ones to come out, not only by letting them know you love them unconditionally but by committing to protecting them when others judge them for nonconformity of gender identification or sexuality. We all play a part.
How To Come Out
Reach out to LGBTQIA+ services and build a supportive community, one that is committed to standing with you and for you. Look to others who have come before you and read their inspirational biographies and stories about having the courage to live an authentic life. Trust yourself as to when the right time is to come out, and make sure you feel safe and supported whether in the closet or out of the closet. You get to choose when or if you come out. Know that you are not alone. You are loved.
If you’ve found value in my essays on conflict resolution, relationship dynamics, peaceful parenting, or the seven-piece series I’ve written on PRIDE, the four-part series on how to end mass shootings, or the five-part series on protecting children and reproductive freedom would you please consider a paid subscription to SageJustice.Substack.com for yourself and for a friend? A monthly subscription is just $5 a month, a yearly subscription is $45. Writers provide a much-needed service to the community. We gather information and turn it into inspiration, education and understanding to bring people together and solve universal challenges; and right now, we need your financial support. Thank you.
Thanks for reading and supporting The Sage Words substack. For more articles related to being queer, please see my full seven-piece PRIDE collection (most are only one to three minute reads):
Part 1: What Does it Mean to Be Queer? The Q in LGBTQIA+
Part 3: Queer Animals, How Homosexuality Keeps the Straight Population Thriving.
Part 4: In the Closet and How to Come Out
Part 5: Camping with my Girl How Gender Roles are Social Constructs
Part 6: Indoctrinated to Hate: The Power of the Media to Hurt and to Heal
Part 7: Drag Queens Were My Fairy Godparents—Feat. Trixie Mattel and The Trixie Motel
Sage Justice is intensely sincere. Balancing wisdom and humor she most often writes deeply personal solution based pieces about the enduring virtues that connect us all: love and healing. She is an award-winning playwright and critically acclaimed performing artist who has appeared on stages from Madison Square Garden in New York City, to The Comedy Store in Hollywood, California. Ms. Justice is the author of Sage Words FREEDOM Book One, an activist, a member of the Screen Actors Guild and an alumna Artist-In-Residence of Chateau Orquevaux, France. She is a co-founder of The Unity Project which fuses activism with art, to educate and inspire, with a special emphasis on community engagement to end homelessness. She has a series of short reels about living with the rare genetic disorder, Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that you can find in a highlight reel on her Instagram page @SageWords2027. This series on PRIDE contains excerpts from “Sage Words LEGACY Book Seven.”
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