What Does it Mean to Be Queer?
The Q in LGBTQIA+ Part one in the PRIDE Series
The above colorful meme breaks down each definition more fully; in brief they are:
L stands for Lesbian
G stands for Gay
B stands for Bisexual
T stands for Transgender
Q stands for Queer (or Questioning)
I stands for Intersex (those born with anatomy different from assigned gender)
A stands for Asexual (those not interested in romance or sex)
+ the infinite variety of gender and sexual identities not represented by this acronym.
While the Q in LGBTQIA+ can stand for queer or questioning, for the purpose of this article, we will focus on the definition of queer—which has evolved, as words do.
In The Kinsey Reports: Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, Alfred Kinsey had created something called the Kinsey Scale. His belief was that most people were sexually fluid and neither completely straight nor completely gay. That resonated as truthful to me, especially after studying sexual biology in the animal kingdom (yes, gay animals exist) and global, anthropology (cultures in which homosexuality was simply accepted as natural). I believe that queer love means loving someone for what’s in their heart and between their ears, not for what’s between their legs. Even so, I realize, for some people in the queer community, love or attraction is precisely about what’s between the legs.
In 2013, Nadia Cho, a then student at Berkeley, wrote a cogent 600-word piece on what it means to be queer, “Being queer is first and foremost a state of mind. It is a worldview characterized by acceptance, through which one embraces and validates all the unique, unconventional ways that individuals express themselves, particularly with respect to gender and sexual orientation. It is about acknowledging the infinite number of complex, fluid identities that exist outside the few limited, dualistic categories considered legitimate by society. Being queer means believing that everyone has the right to be themselves and express themselves without being judged or hated because that doesn't fit in with what's normal. Being queer means challenging everything that's considered normal.” And I concur.
Celebrating PRIDE is not an anti-straight movement any more than “Black Lives Matter” is an anti-white movement or feminism is an anti-male movement. Those who are marginalized have movements to bring awareness to those who are not. This is the flip side of being the token black, token woman, token gay. It’s vital to realize that when we’re used to being the token in someone else’s life sometimes it takes an entire movement for them to see us as more than just a brush stroke in their painting, and realize we are our own painting. Celebrating Pride is celebrating authenticity not sexual history. It’s to support those who feel marginalized, unsafe, unseen, and unheard. It’s an act of community support and human kindness.
Being queer is an expansion of self and inclusion. It’s the realization that one could be attracted to a person’s energy, spirit, and soul, not just their body parts. It doesn’t matter to me if you label yourself asexual, bisexual, pansexual, or transsexual. What matters to me is your character—are you kind? Do you have integrity? Do you respect yourself and others? I certainly consider myself part of the queer community and stand with all those who are marginalized or who need support and representation from multiple communities: including those who are disabled, Jewish, black, impoverished, nomads, artists, and/or LGBTQIA+.
WRITERS GUILD STRIKE—My husband and I are both working professionals in the entertainment industry and our income is being directly impacted by the Writers Guild Strike. If you’ve found value in my essays on conflict resolution, relationship dynamics, peaceful parenting, or the seven-piece series I’ve written on PRIDE, the four-part series on how to end mass shootings, or the five-part series on protecting children and reproductive freedom would you please consider a paid subscription to SageJustice.Substack.com for yourself and for a friend? A monthly subscription is just $5 a month, a yearly subscription is $45. Writers provide a much-needed service to the community. We gather information and turn it into inspiration, education and understanding to bring people together and solve universal challenges; and right now, we need your financial support. Thank you.
Thanks for reading and supporting The Sage Words substack. For more articles related to being queer, please see my full seven-piece PRIDE collection (most are only one to three minute reads):
Part 1: What Does it Mean to Be Queer? The Q in LGBTQIA+
Part 3: Queer Animals, How Homosexuality Keeps the Straight Population Thriving.
Part 4: In the Closet and How to Come Out
Part 5: Camping with my Girl How Gender Roles are Social Constructs
Part 6: Indoctrinated to Hate: The Power of the Media to Hurt and to Heal
Part 7: Drag Queens Were My Fairy Godparents—Feat. Trixie Mattel and The Trixie Motel
Sage Justice is achingly sincere. Balancing wisdom and humor she most often writes deeply personal solution based pieces about the enduring virtues that connect us all: love and healing. She is an award-winning playwright and critically acclaimed performing artist who has appeared on stages from Madison Square Garden in New York City, to The Comedy Store in Hollywood, California. Ms. Justice is the author of Sage Words FREEDOM Book One, an activist, a member of the Screen Actors Guild and an alumna Artist-In-Residence of Chateau Orquevaux, France. She is a co-founder of The Unity Project which fuses activism with art, to educate and inspire, with a special emphasis on community engagement to end homelessness. She has a series of short reels about living with the rare genetic disorder, Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that you can find in a highlight reel on her Instagram page @SageWords2027.
Photo by Margot Hartford
Sage Justice is the author of “Sage Words FREEDOM Book One” available on Amazon. This series on PRIDE contains excerpts from “Sage Words LEGACY Book Seven.”
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