Camping with My Girl:
Gender Roles are Social Constructs
Part five in the PRIDE series
In Western society (according to dictionary definitions), masculine traits include: “strength, courage, independence, leadership, and assertiveness;” and feminine traits include: “gracefulness, gentleness, empathy, humility, and sensitivity.” Does that mean if you raise yourself and your child to have all of the above traits that you are deemed by society as “#nonbinary?” Could “non-binary” be synonymous with having our innate masculine and feminine qualities integrated? Is it the new word we use to identify ourselves as simply “fully formed humans?” Part of why I shy away from identity markers is because they are always changing and evolving … that doesn’t mean they aren’t sometimes necessary, especially for those who are marginalized.
My husband and I have overlapping strengths and weaknesses, both as individuals and as caregivers; but for the most part, I am the adventurous parent who likes to explore nature, take road trips, and push the boundaries of conformity and social expectations. I bond with my daughter through art, literature, and camping trips. My husband is a wonderful nurturer, and he bonds with our daughter over music, technology, and wordplay/comedy. As a family, we all connect through our shared love, creativity, and intellectual pursuits. Our goals are to be fully formed, self-sufficient humans, without having to live up to cookie-cutter gender role expectations.
I implore you not to raise #daughters and #sons as two different species, with restrictive gender roles that keep them half formed, in a world that requires them to be whole and complete. It goes without saying that we can’t be all things, and we each have our areas of comfort as contributors to community. Nevertheless, all #boys deserve to be taught #gracefulness, #gentleness, #empathy, #humility, #sensitivity and how to #nurture themselves and others; and all #girls deserve to be taught #strength, #courage, #independence, #leadership, #assertiveness, and how to provide for themselves and their families. Each of these qualities is important for all people, regardless of how they identify. Self-reliance creates #community through #interdependence (versus codependence), which ultimately leads to the freedom of independence.
Need more evidence? Check out this short piece from New Scientist entitled The myth that men hunt while women stay at home is entirely wrong
During #PrideMonth, I invite you to challenge your views of #gender roles. Rosie the Riveter emerged during World War II, taking over the jobs previously held by men, from a place of necessity. The same marketing materials (pamphlets, radio, film, religion, and social movements) that had previously encouraged women to be domestic caregivers were then used to drive them into the workforce when needed and applied again to send them back into the home, when the men returned from war. I welcome you to do the research, understand gender roles are not defined solely by biological traits or “limitations” but largely created and #marketed, like any other form of #propaganda to #manipulate #society and restrict the #freedom of the #human spirit to soar and expand in fullness. The smaller the role we play, the easier we are to #control (as #consumers, as a #culture, as a #product).
All humans, male or female, have the same basic building blocks to be both domestic caregivers and educated members of the workforce. I can’t believe that in the 21st century, it’s become necessary to prove that gender roles are social constructs; but in the face of current gender politics, that largely revolve around what it means to be a #man or a #woman—specifically in response to the #trans movement, here we are, doing just that. When we care more about supporting people in being good humans, we will care less about gender identification. The more whole we are within ourselves, the less threatened we will be by how anyone else identifies; and how other people choose to present themselves should not be a reflection or competition with how we choose to present ourselves. Whatever happened to “live and let live?”
I struggle with embracing identity markers but also support and respect all those who choose a label to define themselves. I understand the need for representation. I also understand that when we identify with one group, we cut ourselves off from another; and to cut off from the whole is to be less than. #Integrity is integration, #wholeness, #oneness, and #unity, which is my ultimate goal.
My daughter and I had a wonderful camping trip. Nature is our place of peace. We were very busy relaxing and surviving in the wilderness amongst the mountain lions, bobcats, beautiful wildflowers, giant black beetles, waving trees, howling packs of coyotes near our campsite, the constant scurry of woodland creatures, the morning alarm of woodpeckers, the horses that other campers bring, and the soaring angels that are red-tailed hawks. She took the photos of nature; and while we have spotted these wild animals, we don’t tend to hang around to take their pictures (these are stock images).
WRITERS GUILD STRIKE—My husband and I are both working professionals in the entertainment industry and our income is being directly impacted by the Writers Guild Strike. If you’ve found value in my essays on conflict resolution, relationship dynamics, peaceful parenting, or the seven-piece series I’ve written on PRIDE, the four-part series on how to end mass shootings, or the five-part series on protecting children and reproductive freedom would you please consider a paid subscription to SageJustice.Substack.com for yourself and for a friend? A monthly subscription is just $5 a month, a yearly subscription is $45. Writers provide a much-needed service to the community. We gather information and turn it into inspiration, education and understanding to bring people together and solve universal challenges; and right now, we need your financial support. Thank you.
Thanks for reading and supporting The Sage Words substack. For more articles related to being queer, please see my full seven-piece PRIDE collection (most are only one to three minute reads):
Part 1: What Does it Mean to Be Queer? The Q in LGBTQIA+
Part 3: Queer Animals, How Homosexuality Keeps the Straight Population Thriving.
Part 4: In the Closet and How to Come Out
Part 5: Camping with my Girl How Gender Roles are Social Constructs
Part 6: Indoctrinated to Hate: The Power of the Media to Hurt and to Heal
Part 7: Drag Queens Were My Fairy Godparents—Feat. Trixie Mattel and The Trixie Motel
Sage Justice is the author of “Sage Words FREEDOM Book One.” This series on PRIDE contains excerpts from “Sage Words LEGACY Book Seven.”
#Queer, #Homosexuality, #DragQueens, #DragIsNotACrime, #LGBTQIA+, #GayAnimals, #Evolution, #GenderRolesAreSocialConstructs, #InTheCloset, #OutOfTheCloset, #WhatTheBibleSaysAboutBeingGay, #HomosexualityInTheAnimalKingdom, #DarwinianParadox, #LoveIsLove, #LoveWins, #GayIsNormal, #TrixieMattel, #TrixieMotel, #ItGetsBetter, #Pride365, #Pride, #ChangeYourMindChangeYourLife, #ChangeTheWorldWhenYouChangeYourMin
Sage Justice is achingly sincere. Balancing wisdom and humor she most often writes deeply personal solution based pieces about the enduring virtues that connect us all: love and healing. She is an award-winning playwright and critically acclaimed performing artist who has appeared on stages from Madison Square Garden in New York City, to The Comedy Store in Hollywood, California. Ms. Justice is the author of Sage Words FREEDOM Book One, an activist, a member of the Screen Actors Guild and an alumna Artist-In-Residence of Chateau Orquevaux, France. She is a co-founder of The Unity Project which fuses activism with art, to educate and inspire, with a special emphasis on community engagement to end homelessness. She has a series of short reels about living with the rare genetic disorder, Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that you can find in a highlight reel on her Instagram page @SageWords2027.