Camping with My Girl:
Gender Roles are Social Constructs, Part five in the PRIDE series
What Does it Mean to be Masculine or Feminine?
As my daughter and I headed out for yet another camping trip where we survive on our own in wilderness, I thought about the oppression of gender roles that prevent other girls and women from enjoying these same adventures.
My daughter says that I remind her of the mother character of Enola Homes, Lady Eudora Verne Holmes, for all the ways I’ve sought to teach her independence through fun, experiential life lessons; yet to me, it’s just a simple camping trip to commune with nature and my best gal (ok, maybe a little mischief too, for sh*ts & giggles).
In Western society (according to dictionary definitions), masculine traits include: “strength, courage, independence, leadership, and assertiveness;” and feminine traits include: “gracefulness, gentleness, empathy, humility, and sensitivity.”
Does that mean if you raise yourself and your child to have all of the above traits that you are deemed by society as “nonbinary?” Could “non-binary” be synonymous with having our innate masculine and feminine qualities integrated? Is it the new word we use to identify ourselves as simply “fully formed humans?” Part of why I shy away from identity markers is because they are always changing and evolving … that doesn’t mean they aren’t sometimes necessary, especially for those who are marginalized.
My husband and I have overlapping strengths and weaknesses, both as individuals and as caregivers; but for the most part, I am the adventurous parent who likes to explore nature, take road trips, and push the boundaries of conformity and social expectations. I bond with my daughter through art, literature, and camping trips. My husband is more conventional, a wonderful nurturer, and he bonds with our daughter over music, technology, and wordplay/comedy. As a family, we all connect through our shared love, creativity, and intellectual pursuits. Our goals are to be fully formed, self-sufficient humans, without having to live up to cookie-cutter gender role expectations.
Wholeness
I implore you not to raise daughters and sons as two different species, with restrictive gender roles that keep them half formed, in a world that requires them to be whole and complete. It goes without saying that we can’t be all things, and we each have our areas of comfort as contributors to community. Nevertheless, all boys deserve to be taught gracefulness, gentleness, empathy, humility, sensitivity and how to nurture themselves and others; and all girls deserve to be taught strength, courage, independence, leadership, assertiveness, and how to provide for themselves and their families. Each of these qualities is important for all people, regardless of how they identify. Self-reliance creates community through interdependence (versus codependence), which ultimately leads to the freedom of independence.
Are Your Beliefs Your Own or Have They Been Programmed by Propaganda to Use and Change Who You Are to Serve the Social Needs of the Times?
During Pride Month, I invite you to challenge your views of gender roles, who created them and why they were created in the first place.
Rosie the Riveter emerged during World War II, taking over the jobs previously held by men, from a place of necessity. The same marketing materials (pamphlets, radio, film, religion, and social movements) that had previously encouraged women to “stay in the kitchen” and to be domestic caregivers, were then used to drive them into the workforce when needed and take over “the jobs of men” to keep this country going … and applied again to send them back into the home, when the men returned from war.
I welcome you to do the research, understand gender roles are not defined solely by biological traits or “limitations” but largely created and marketed, like any other form of propaganda to manipulate society and restrict the freedom of the human spirit to soar and expand in fullness. The smaller the role we play, the easier we are to control (as consumers, as a culture, as a product).
We were taught that men were hunters and gatherers and women hid in caves to protect the children. Turns out that wasn’t true, not entirely. I intuitively knew that was a lie we were fed to be used to dampen our independence. Need more evidence? Check out this short piece from New Scientist entitled The myth that men hunt while women stay at home is entirely wrong.
Gender Roles are Social Constructs
All humans, male or female, have the same basic building blocks to be both domestic caregivers and educated members of the workforce. I can’t believe that in the 21st century, it’s become necessary to prove that gender roles are social constructs; but in the face of current gender politics, that largely revolve around what it means to be a man or a woman—specifically in response to the trans movement, here we are, doing just that.
When we care more about supporting people in being good humans, we will care less about gender identification. The more whole we are within ourselves, the less threatened we will be by how anyone else identifies; and how other people choose to present themselves should not be a reflection or competition with how we choose to present ourselves. Whatever happened to “live and let live?”
I struggle with embracing identity markers but also support and respect all those who choose a label to define themselves. I understand the need for representation. I also understand that when we identify with one group, we cut ourselves off from another; and to cut off from the whole is to be less than. Integrity is integration, wholeness, oneness, and unity, which is my ultimate goal.
Sage Justice © May 25, 2025 www.SageWords.org This concept/theory/poem is original to Sage Justice. If you use it, please give credit and link to original work. Thank you.
Camping with My Girl
My daughter and I had a wonderful camping trip. Nature is our place of peace. We were very busy relaxing and surviving in the wilderness amongst the mountain lions, bobcats, beautiful wildflowers, giant black beetles, waving trees, howling packs of coyotes near our campsite, the constant scurry of woodland creatures, the morning alarm of woodpeckers, the horses that other campers bring, and the soaring angels that are red-tailed hawks. Gender roles can prevent us from being our fullest selves. Integrating all parts of ourselves: masculine and feminine, make us whole.
Thanks for reading and supporting The Sage Words substack. For more articles related to being queer, please see my full seven-piece PRIDE collection (most are only one to three minute reads):
Part 1: What Does it Mean to Be Queer? The Q in LGBTQIA+
Part 3: Queer Animals, How Homosexuality Keeps the Straight Population Thriving.
Part 4: In the Closet and How to Come Out
Part 5: Camping with my Girl How Gender Roles are Social Constructs
Part 6: Indoctrinated to Hate: The Power of the Media to Hurt and to Heal
Part 7: Drag Queens Were My Fairy Godparents—Feat. Trixie Mattel and The Trixie Motel
Sage Justice is the author of “Sage Words FREEDOM Book One.” This series on PRIDE contains excerpts from “Sage Words LEGACY Book Seven.”
Photo Image: Sage Justice, stands relaxed, hands in pocket, on a trail near a church that’s probably hundreds of years old. She is wearing a black cap and pony tail, a navy and white pinstriped t-shirt under a black travel vest with cargo pants and white tennis shoes. She stops to pose while on a hike in the French countryside in the quaint and quirky Provence of Orquevaux. She is living her dreams.
Sage Justice is an award-winning poet, author, critically acclaimed performing artist, and intensely sincere, bold humanitarian activist.
If you appreciate this publication, Sage Words, but are unable to afford a subscription, please consider choosing the “Buy Me a Coffee” button when you can. Every little bit helps. Thanks!
I love this. You managed to cut through all the noise with a perfect argument for raising boys and girls exactly the same. Love it.