Maturity

Conflict Resolution Necessity, Poem

We’re in a place in history that’s going to demand each of us to be brave. The more justifiable our anger, the more careful we must become to not allow violence to be the only tool we seek. “Anger is the fire that keeps us warm but burns us in the process.”*

Maturity helps us with impulse control and the consideration of consequence. As Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” We must stand with courage and fight for our freedoms—not just with our words, dollars, votes, or protests, but with inherent wisdom. Survivors win battles; warriors win wars. Maturity is the forgotten tool needed for both.

This is an excerpt of Maturity, a poem about how to achieve healthy conflict resolution. Originally published in *Sage Words FREEDOM Book One. May you glean from it helpful insights, as we forge through what feels like apocalyptic times. Let us not lose our common humanity, in the midst of fighting for it.

What the World Needs Now is Maturity, 
Sweet Maturity* 

 
It’s not the liberal left or conservative right 
where all the problems begin. 
It’s the lack of maturity with which people resolve differences 
that has created this sin. 
People have lost their ability to reason, listen, and care. 
To respectfully engage in discourse is all too rare. 
I refuse to play part to the mentality of “us versus them.” 
I see the wholeness of humanity in the oneness within. 
          	This isn’t idealistic spiritual speech. 
          	It’s dialectic thinking, wisdom every great leader doth teach. 
 
We can lay the boundary and some ground rules 
to guide us through any conflict storm. 
Commit to expressing ourselves, 
without engaging with a proverbial bullhorn. 
Acknowledge that it is possible 
to have the courage of one’s convictions,  
without resorting to engaging 
in eviscerating maledictions. 
 
The guidelines are simple: 
set emotions aside and embrace critical thought. 
Compare our research side by side 
to discern which “facts,” are not. 
State our case and then prepare to listen deeply. 
Ask clarifying questions to allow understanding completely,  
Replace judgment with curiosity,  
Let the knowledge marinate before reacting with animosity. 
End every discussion by respectfully agreeing to disagree,  
As the case may be, 
With a promise to change the subject if things get too heated—
thereby forcing the other to want to flee. 
Use the “Radical Candor Method” to communicate: 
“care personally and challenge directly.” 

Above all, no personal attacks—
For what the world needs now is maturity 
 
There is no solution in continuing to further divide. 
We have to come together, build bridges from each side. 
Mistreatment gives us permission 
to walk away free and clear: clean, 
But when it comes to conflict resolution, 
has walking away ever solved anything? 
 
It’s the very fact that people are unwilling 
to brave the minor philosophical earthquakes in union  
That has caused the seismic destruction 
of humanity’s moral foundation and ruin. 
 
We will never achieve peace and grow,  
if we continue to harvest discord through the rage we sow.  
It does no use to demonize the uncontrolled wild,  
For in times of great tumult, we must treat each other 
as we treat the child:  
With endless forgiveness, patience, 
understanding, love, and care,  
Yet still within the realm of healthy boundaries, self-restraint, 
and the agreed upon rules of mature conduct that we lay bare. 
 
With moral courage and respectful conscientiousness   
We can discern fact from fiction to focus on righteousness.   
There will always be areas of contention 
But without dialogue and an exchange of ideas they become  
      	exaggerated,  
             		distorted,  
                 		and the difficult conversations that go unmentioned. 
 
This polarized, dismissive way of communicating 
is what’s tearing our world apart,  
Not the conflicting beliefs which can be navigated, 
negotiated, and taken to heart. 
A little maturity goes a long way to resolution 
But it requires humility and self-care to get to that solution. 
 
Certainty is an addiction 
a drug we all must face. 
In the name of understanding it’s the balance of confidence
and humility that wins the race. 
 
A person who can’t control their temper is living under 9,000 pounds of pain. 
The abusive attacks they lunge at others are the way they deal with shame. 
The cure is recognition and release.
We can teach each other tools that bring peace. 

It takes commitment to learn a new way to be.
It’s a shift in modus operandi from impulsive—to maturity.

Maturity is a practice and a conscious state of mind.
It’s the removal of self-destructive coping mechanisms that keep us misaligned. 
If every irritant within ourselves leads us to 
fight, fly, freeze, fawn, 
spend, smoke, drug, become withdrawn 
game, sex, eat, or drink,
Then every irritant in another will lead our boat to sink.

Maturity is the act of “slow and careful consideration.”
It comes from years of facing fears and employing emotional regulation, 
Acting with vulnerable courage instead of embracing evasion.

It is the practice of sitting in the eye of the storm to see all sides. 
It is the calm that breeds in us, a healthy sort of pride. 
Maturity is contagious. It’s soothing and infectious.
Its nature is firm leadership that sits quietly in our solar plexus.

It’s the state of being triggered without impulsive reaction, 
Through the practice of stillness, we find resistance traction.
We don’t allow ourselves to be pulled into hypnotic confrontation that is seething. 
When we engage the art of self-care via mindful presence and deep breathing.

Maturity breaks through the chrysalis of our youth,
And as we breathe through the chaos, we begin to hear the greater truth. 
Anything is possible when we can learn to listen and receive.
When we can let go of the attachments to what we choose to believe. 
When we become fast to understand and slow to combat,
We have what the world needs now: maturity, sweet maturity 
blowing at our back. 

Sage Justice © 2022 

Sage Justice is an award-winning poet, author, critically acclaimed performing artist, and humanitarian activist. Please support her writing by subscribing to SageJustice.Substack.com Thank you.