Grace Family Values

When Deceased Relatives Show Up to Support the Living

This is a photo of the spirits who came to visit me on the eve of my birthday this year. These are some of my cherished in-laws and my daughter’s paternal antecedents. Pictured are my daughter’s grandfather, Ned Grace, his mother, Florence Grace (Mamaw) and her great-uncles, Lloyd Grace and George Grace.

I was fond of all these wonderful people, none of whom are earthside, all of whom have become a part of our “God Squad” (loved ones who’ve crossed over but who are still present as spirits, who guide, support, and help protect us); and yes, I am among those who can hear and see dead people and have had this ability my entire life.

Ned was my father-in-law and having lost my Papa just two years into my marriage, my father-in-law became my primary father figure for the next three decades. I held love and respect for Ned.

While Mamaw was still living when I entered the family in 1990, she was in an unresponsive coma-like state, so our only communication was through spiritual telepathy; but her reputation and legacy of kindness and gentle strength lived on through the charitable words of all of her descendants.

I adored Uncle Lloyd. He reminded me of Andy Griffith, as did my own papa. His loving presence was an easy chair. I loved him so much that I traveled to see him with my grandmother, and we took long walks on his farm together and shared many laughs as we discussed philosophical and spiritual concepts, while watching some beavers build a dam on his property. I can still hear his southern vocal cadence and wonderful laugh that felt like cool shade in a humid sun.

Uncle George was the eldest brother, and I’ve mentioned him in some of my other writings.  We used to have conversations about the Fibonacci sequence in nature. He was a linguist who enjoyed photography. Every year, he’d make a calendar of his pictures and each month, include the birthdays of everyone in the family. This was such a loving and thoughtful gesture—which kept us all more connected. I miss that. I miss him. I miss them all. These were people with great character, integrity and devotion to family.

A few nights ago, the spirit of my father-in-law, Ned, came to the edge of my bed and reminded me of a story he once told me about his brother George. When Ned was a young man still in the service, he had an opportunity to visit a new city for the first time. I think it was New York. His brother George gave him some money and said something like, “Enjoy yourself.” Ned didn’t ask him for the money, he didn’t have to. George neither had to say, “This is what I’m here for, to help;” nor “This is what I’m here for, to judge.” He simply gave what he had because he wanted his brother to have the means to enjoy the opportunity he had been presented with. It was an act of love, not charity. It was a gift of celebration, not a loan with invisible strings attached.

George could have said, “Even though you have the opportunity to see the city now, you shouldn’t until you have the money to do so.” He could have said, “Maybe when you’re at the same station in life as I am, the opportunity will come again; and you can enjoy it when you have the means to do so.” Instead, I got the impression that when George found out his brother had the opportunity to go into the city, he wanted Ned to be able to see a Broadway show, have a nice meal, maybe take in some art. He wanted to give him a gift because he could, because giving to others feels good, because he loved his brother, because valuing family was a big part of The Grace Family values. Love is a verb. When someone can take an action of love that makes another person's life easier, they are showing love. When they actively withhold that which can help, they are not.

My daughter was invited to go to Europe for three months as an artist-in-resident. It’s somewhat in lieu of a semester in college and yet also a possible springboard into a university abroad. I think the Grace Family God Squad came to visit me because we only have two weeks left to come up with $5,000 to pay for the residency deposit, and I’ve been worried about how we are going to make that happen.

My father-in-law’s spirit sat on the edge of my bed, and I asked him if he was excited for my daughter Gracie. He rubbed his hands together, smiled, and gave me an enthusiastic, “Oh yes!” I said, “Do you think this will lead to her going to college?” He nodded, “yes.” I asked, “Do you think she will be safe from Covid?” He was silent and thoughtful for a moment and then said, “I think the odds are in her favor that she will be ok.”

I said, “Someone in the family told (my husband) Geoff that they can’t support Gracie’s dream in case she gets Covid, and then they would blame themselves for having supported her dream.”

The God Squad said, “Don’t think about the negative consequences more than the positive possibilities.”

 “What if Gracie blossoms in pursuit of her dream because the family helped her when she needed help? What will that do to and for this family member’s conscience?”

That’s when the rest of the family chimed in—which included Uncle George, Uncle Lloyd, Aunt Catherine, Lloyd’s wife, and Aunt Liz, George’s wife, along with Mamaw and too many cousins to name. And at this point there were no individual voices, just a sense of presence from the entire family with various telepathic phrases and sentiments:

“Gracie is the best authority on her body and health.”

“There are risks and benefits to everything we do.”

“She has decided that she wants to go to Europe, and she’s been given the opportunity. Therefore, she should be supported in doing so.”

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what a ship is built for. Support her in her journey to sail.”

Aunt Catherine said, “Ahh, just let her go!”

Aunt Liz chimed in, “She’ll be fine. It’s so exciting! Tell her to keep a journal of it all.”

I smiled and thanked them all for being present and said, “I feel guilty for doing the fundraiser, for asking for help; but I don’t know what else to do, how else to make it happen. We’re still struggling from the effects of the strike. Am I being financially irresponsible?” I asked.

The voices said, “You’re supporting your daughter in making her dreams come true. You are escorting her into adulthood and helping her to establish where her soul is called to be. How can that be selfish?”

I felt Mamaw’s hand upon my shoulder and the rest of the antecedents rest their hands on each shoulder—a giant group ghost hug!

I got weepy and said, “In America we’re taught to do what you have to, in order to do what you want to do; but when the average cost of living is greater than the average living wage, sometimes there are no resources left after we do what we have to do, in order to do what we want to do. Geoff is retirement age, and travel is only going to become more difficult as time passes. My recent fall reminded me that none of us knows how much time we have. We have to take the opportunities when they arrive.”

I felt a sense of acceptance and comforting acknowledgment.

Then a scene from the movie “The Great Debaters” played in my head:

“Who’s the judge?

The judge is God.

Why is God the judge?

Because God decides who wins or loses, not my opponent.

Who is your opponent?

He doesn’t exist.

And why doesn’t he exist?

Because he’s a mere dissenting voice to the truth I speak.

Speak the truth.”

We were all quiet.

I was basking in their love.

Mamaw said, “You are love.”

I felt the presence of love fill the room. It was as if she was wrapping us all in one of her hand knitted blankets, and the closing messages were strong and specific.

“Love is all there is.”

“The way to end judgment, resentment, bitterness, and hurt feelings is to imagine each other on your death beds; and none of these squabbles will matter anymore.”

“You are all connected and knit together.”

“Excluding family is pulling a thread that unravels the blanket of love that keeps everyone woven together in love and connection.”

“Gracie is family. Gracie is love. Gracie is supported.”

Painting by Anja Rozen

I asked my father-in-law, Ned if he had any messages for his son, Geoff. He hugged himself while twisting his upper body, something he used to do when we said goodbye after a visit. The connection between the spirit world and me was getting weak, and I could tell it was hard for Ned to speak. He sent a mental message to Geoff of “I love you,” and simply said one word, “listen.”

I thanked them all for coming to me, for loving us, for supporting Gracie; and then I rushed to tell my husband and daughter everything that had just transpired.

I know that many people do not believe in psychic phenomena, and I respect that. I have no desire to convince anyone of anything. I am here to speak my truth and leave no words unspoken. More and more people are learning how to tap into their psychic abilities. For me, this is just a way of life, another sense as strong as sight and sound. I’m here to validate those who share these experiences and to be an example of what it means to nestle into the frequency of love.

Sage Justice is an award-winning poet, author, critically acclaimed performing artist, and intensely sincere, bold humanitarian activist.¹

Thank you for reading and sharing, Sage Words. Every coffee counts.