How to Heal Almost Anything
The best life advice that I wish I could go back and give my younger self.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and this is not intended as medical advice. These tips are based on decades of dealing with chronic pain, weakness, and fatigue. They also come from extensive personal experiences of having spent a third of my life as a professional patient, a patient advocate, and a caregiver for my grandmother and child, as well as having worked for a short time for one of the largest medical insurance companies in the United States. There is nary a treatment, be it conventional or alternative, Eastern or Western medicine, that I haven’t tried and given up because of cost, time, or side effects. I continue to come back to these 10 core practices because they are the simplest, most accessible, and affordable that I have found. I’m sharing them because have a sincere desire to help ease and end suffering. I see a lot of people who I love and care about deeply, who are struggling with autoimmune disorders, fibromyalgia, long covid, and other chronic illness. I think they might benefit from my imperfect wellness journey.
These are the lifestyle tools I used to get off of 30 medications (I still take five as needed), get out of wheelchair (mostly), and have an average of eight functional hours per day when I used to have little to none. The key to my relative “success” is embracing imperfection. I’ve never been able to reach my ideal of maintaining all of these tips concurrently; so rest assured, you can still have positive results doing your best and simply committing to not give up. Self-discipline comes from predictability and stability, which are privileges. Unfortunately, ill health prevents stability and creates a life of constant interruptions, detours, and trickle-down challenges. Knowing that these tips will improve your life, even if you can’t do them perfectly, will be a comfort. As the chronically ill patient knows, it’s not how many times we get knocked down that matter, but how many we get back up.
Time Travel
If I could go back to my first health crisis, when overwhelming and debilitating fatigue, weakness, and chronic pain took over my life, before the rare genetic disorder diagnosis of vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and its gang of hoodlum comorbidities (Chiari malformation, Mast Cell, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, and Gastroparesis, to name a few), before seeing over 200 doctors and specialists, at five major hospitals across three states, over two decades, before choosing to accept the dance with pharmaceuticals, I would have pleaded with her to listen to the hard earned wisdom in these ten tips.
I would have said, “Honey, trust me, the doctors can’t help much beyond emergencies. Even though you have legitimate medical conditions, there is no cure; and there are very few treatments. The only true changes to get you back to health will be through the only three things you have control over in life: your thoughts, your words, and your deeds! You will need help until you build back your strength; but once you do, you will be astonished at how much your health improves and your life changes for the better, not by a doctor’s prescription pad, but by you taking reign over these ten things. This is all you have to do sweetheart, but only you can do it. Please trust me! I’m from the future; I’ve tried it all. I lost so much of my life and wasted too much time believing there was a magic pill, a surgery, a cure, or a treatment that someone could prescribe only to realize, like Dorothy, that we have the power to get ourselves home.” (Homeostasis—See what I did there? Keep it light, sister, and play—because maintaining playfulness is one of the major components to your health and healing!)
I’m not going to minimize your pain or dismiss your suffering. Your soul did NOT choose this! No doubt about it, life has served you a sh*t sandwich; albeit with a side of tasty desserts. These are my heartfelt, ten best pieces of life advice for how to eat around what you must, enjoy what you can, and heal almost anything in the process. They’re so simple, it’s hard to believe how effective they really are; but simple isn’t always easy. Nevertheless, this is what has worked for me and millions of others. Most of it is completely free, and results can start to be felt immediately.
First—manage your thoughts:
1. Think. Curate your thoughts and nurture your beliefs. As the quote goes, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't—you're right.” The mind and the body are deeply connected. Past trauma affects our health. Negativity affects our immune system. Seeing the worst in ourselves, or others, can increase our pain receptors. As mentioned in Sage Words FREEDOM Book One, your beliefs are your superpowers. Your beliefs about everything that matters in life: health, wealth, love, and joy, are all driven by the thoughts you think, day in and day out. Are you moving through traffic or standing in lines thinking, “Why are people so slow, stupid, annoying, etc.?!” or are you thinking, “I’m so grateful I have the energy and ability to stand in a line, the wealth to own a car, etc.?” Being grateful for the good we have is not a denial of the tragedy and despair that exist in life. It’s a choice as to which reality we choose to linger on the most. Focusing on the positive doesn’t mean denying the negative; focusing on the positive diminishes the negative and has the power to change the narrative. All day, every day, our thoughts narrate and as a result, write the script for our experiences. It’s not always easy to manage our thoughts. It can feel at times as if our brains have been hijacked and we cannot control what we think about. However, the truth is that we may not be able to control the first impulse thought; but we can control the second, responsive thought. What we choose to think about is within our control. This doesn’t mean we have to use toxic positivity and push a Pollyanna persona when Debbie Downer shows up to dinner to dish—it’s natural and normal to vent once in a while and let off some steam—but we can learn to monitor our thoughts and pay attention to how often flipping a switch from aggravated to appreciative changes the tone of the room. Once we learn to incorporate playfulness into our daily interactions, we elevate our thoughts naturally, and the frequency of who and what we vibe with becomes everything! If our lives are a movie, our thoughts create our script; and our playfulness becomes our set. For more on playfulness, please read chapter 13, PLAYFULNESS, in Sage Words FREEDOM Book One.
Second—manage your words:
2. Speak. Our words have power—they are extensions of our thoughts, and they help create our realities. The only diet I ever tried that worked was a diet from complaining. That doesn’t mean we put up with dysfunctional relationships or abuse. It’s imperative in all our relationships that we speak up, ask for what we need and want, and that when we do not receive it, have the courage to walk away. Maya Angelou left us with this wisdom, “I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me.” Giving up gossip goes hand-in-hand with giving up a need to explain oneself. This has the power to change your life more than maybe anything else—because the minute you stop complaining and blaming everything outside of yourself for your peace in life is the minute you become empowered by the choices you make; it’s the minute you learn how to set and keep boundaries and take accountability for what you allow into your life. Deciding not to have chaos in our lives begins with us and what we open our doors to. We must take radical responsibility for our thoughts, our words, and our actions.
3. Boundaries. My relationships are the healthiest area of my life that I am most proud of and have worked the hardest at creating. I did so through boundaries. To me, the purpose of life is to love and be loved; and that happens through our relationships, the cornerstones of our lives. Our relationships have a tremendous impact on our health: mentally, physically, and spiritually. If our relationships are dysfunctional, that dysfunction can show up in our bodies as pain and suffering. Our relationships have the ability to heal us or harm us and should never be discounted for the impact they have on our well-being. We do not have to settle for less than we desire. When we show up and do the work, we teach by example. We are allowed to ask for exactly what we want and need, as long as we are willing to do the same work we ask of others. When we communicate our needs and show up for others the way we’d like others to show up for us—lo and behold, it really works. Boundaries are magic! The minute we start setting them, it’s as if the Red Sea parts; and those who resonate with respect and share our values start to show up, and those who don’t start to fall away. We never have to change anyone. We simply choose what we will and will not tolerate. We cannot change the people around us, but we can change the people around us. I love the people around me and am so grateful and satisfied with my relationships, but it came at the price of authenticity and a willingness to let go and be left behind. It required the courage to stop people-pleasing as a survival mechanism and embrace the vulnerability of not being liked by those who weren’t right for me, in order to be liked by myself and those who were right for me. This made space for those people who appreciate the love I have to give—including myself—and allowed me to become a person who appreciates the love others have to give. Become the type of person you most want in your life. You won’t create an echo chamber if you fall in love with diversity, but you will attract people with similar core values of respect, integrity, and kindness.
Third—manage your deeds:
4. Nourish. Electrolytes can change your life. They can help you stay hydrated, stop fainting, fast when necessary, and avoid certain headaches. Staying hydrated doesn’t mean drinking your weight in ounces of water—it means listening to your individual body and knowing when and how much you personally need to drink. I prefer to consume most of my liquids upon waking and then taper off as the day goes; but exercise, heat, and illness play a role in how much water we need. Always remember that food is either poison or medicine. Until you get that—nothing else really matters or makes a difference. You really are what you eat and drink. Giving up alcohol can serve you. There will always be those who say drinking alcohol is good for your health based on studies that look at how health is affected by those who consume grape juice and have more induced periods of relaxation through the sedative properties of alcohol. As the economics saying goes, “correlation does not necessarily imply causation." Alcohol is an additive substance, a depressive, and it damages the liver and the brain. Trust me, you are better off without it. So please just believe me, what you put into your body is what you get out of it. Remove all toxins from your life: toxins from food, fragrances, environments, thoughts, beliefs, words, and people. (This requires boundaries, which are also featured in the aforementioned book that I will do my best to not continue shamelessly plugging.) Regulate your diet with whole foods that your ancestors ate, be those vegan or paleo, whatever works for you and which may change as you age. Stay away from anything processed, including refined grains, most oils, or high fructose corn syrup; but remember, salt is an essential mineral, and it can be your friend. “The human body requires a small amount of sodium to conduct nerve impulses, contract and relax muscles, and maintain the proper balance of water and minerals.”- Harvard.edu.
Eat prebiotic fermented foods before meals like vinegar, a pickle, sauerkraut, or kimchi. Let your herb garden and your spice cabinet be your apothecary and pharmacy. Use the KISS rule (Keep It Simple, Sweetheart), and eat the foods that are alive and make you feel best. (This is personal; but for you, it’s usually legumes, fruits, soups, and salads.) Two days a week, eat whatever you want or eat a little bit of whatever you want each day—this is where the phrase “everything in moderation” shines.
Stop smoking—it’s killing your lungs. Even if it’s safe herbs, the lungs weren’t meant to be filled with smoke. Educate yourself on the benefits of fasting, that can be as simple as eating when the sun is up and not eating when the sun is down and varying and extending fasting times a few times a week or month or through the years.
Take high quality supplements if you can afford them: they make a difference (C, D3, B12, probiotics, and more). Manage your hormones—manage your life. Perimenopause can start as early as your 30s. Start learning about peri, post, and menopause in general, because it’s a journey that can last decades; and the sooner you educate yourself on what’s to come, the better prepared you will be. Your health is ruled by your hormones, and your hormones fluctuate by age and environmental triggers (food, exercise, sleep, emotions, meditation, etc.). This will be an imperfect process; do it anyway. Don’t let Voltaire’s perfect be the enemy of your good enough.
5. Exercise. “Motion is the lotion for the joints.” Move each day with long walks and light weightlifting, preferably in nature. In the beginning of, or after, a spasm or injury, you may not be able to walk at all. Then you may only be able to walk from bed to couch, then from couch to porch, then from porch to sidewalk, using a walker, a cane, or other mobility devices. Eventually, you might find yourself walking 5-10 miles a day. Baby steps literally lead to marathons. Don’t run or raise your heart rate too much (until your overall health improves or you enjoy it), because if you push your body too much, too fast, you can burn out and get exercise fatigue, injuries, and disrupt the delicate balance between your sympathetic and parasympathetic system. (I made this mistake over and over until I learned the quickest way to get where I was going was—slowly!) Your body craves walking now. Future you is addicted to daily walks because you discover that every hour you can walk is equivalent to a dose of maximum strength acetaminophen in how effective it is at pain relief; and as a bonus, the endorphins, that exercise releases, relax you. Just move your body every single day; consistency matters more than any other component. If you can dance, then dance; if you can swim, then swim; if yoga calls to you, answer the call. Whatever moves you to move each and every day is the exercise that’s best for you.
This is from the book “Get Up!” by James A. Levine, “When we eat a meal, our blood sugar shoots up, our pancreas pushes out insulin and the insulin drives the sugar [from the meal] into the muscle so that the muscles and other vital organs get the glucose they need. Any sugar left over gets converted into fat. If you sit after eating, you do not use your meal sugar and so you get diabetes.” Food is fuel. It needs to be delivered to the muscle by moving after each meal—even if just a 15 minute stroll around the block, doing wall pushups or squats. Make a habit of standing up and moving after you eat… then you can rest on the couch in front of a screen or in bed reading a book.
6. Sleep. This will be your greatest challenge because your love and zest for life and creativity will inspire you all hours of the day and night. Just do your best. Don’t strive for ideal. Strive for never giving up. Sleep when the sun sleeps, and rise when the sun rises. I know, it’s nearly impossible—but still possible! Get into the sunlight as soon as you wake up—this will help regulate your circadian rhythms and support you with your sleep, hormones, weight, and happiness more than just about anything else. If you can walk as soon as you wake, in the morning sun, then even better. Few things in life make future you more naturally happy than simply walking in the early morning—something about walking in the dew and the morning light creates magic, energizes and inspires you all day and helps you sleep more deeply at night. Sleep is not a contact sport. Sleeping with someone you love can help your health but so too damage your sleep. Cuddle sleep if you want but if your sleep partner wakes you with their snoring or trips to the bathroom, give yourself permission to sleep by yourself, in a cold, dark room, at the same time every night. Routine is paramount; and for you, it will seem impossible—but just do your best; angels couldn’t do better.
7. Sunshine. Release the bee and get into nature. We are not meant to live inside four walls. We evolved living our lives in relatively fresh air (post dinosaur flatulence) and sunshine. When we have a problem that we are challenged by: from physical pain, to fear, anger, sadness, or worry, it’s like having a bee always in our face threatening to sting. The minute we get into nature, we release the bee, we create space and whatever issue we are battling is still there but no longer buzzing around our head as much.
Nature heals, even if it’s a concrete jungle, where there is sunlight, water, and air flow there is growth. Our brains and bodies function better when we spend at least a few hours outside each and every day (exercising, eating, working, etc.) “The most pressing matter was health and healing. My mind continually returned to the messages in two of my most favorite childhood books: The Velveteen Rabbit, and The Secret Garden, which had the overlapping themes of going into nature to be cured of ailments and becoming real by being loved unconditionally by the self and others. I recognize and am grateful for the medical interventions that have helped to keep my family alive. I am also unequivocally convinced in the power of nature to heal the body and soul. The wide-open spaces of big skies, bodies of water, fresh air, sunshine, glorious trees, flora, and fauna are the ‘pharmaceutical companies’ I was drawn to invest in.”*
8. Love. Devote yourself to healthy relationships, starting with YOU. The most important and enduring relationship you have will be with yourself so stop saying mean things to the person you’ve been charged to care for! And for God’s sake, limit your complaints to one hour a week, preferably with a therapist. Everyone should be in therapy at some point in their lives because it has the power to teach true communication and conflict resolution skills, which we all need. If you can’t afford a therapist, find a listening partner or attend 12-step meetings for Al-Anon even if you don’t think it applies to you, it does because statistically speaking at least one significant relationship in your life will be with a dysfunctional person (i.e. an addict of some sort) and doing the 12-steps will teach you things about yourself and your loved one that have the power to restore you to sanity.
9. Touch. (Speaking to my future self here and sharing as it may apply to others.) The number one thing that will keep you out of the wheelchair is daily massage and physical therapy traction. Florence Scovel Shinn said, “There is only one disease: congestion and one cure: circulation.” You have found this to be true. “Congestion” in this sense is akin to “inflammation” or “blockage.” Nothing will surprise you more than the power of touch to heal. All body work from massage to reiki will heal you. The body needs circulation. Nothing helps your head pain as much as a scalp massage and neck traction.
Every day, do your best to spend just a few minutes doing self-massage, from your head to your toes, to stimulate circulation. There are various techniques like dry brushing and tapping, but even just giving your whole body a touch, squeeze, and pat can do wonders. Beyond the benefits of circulation, touch is a transfer of energy that in and of itself has the power to heal. You were not prepared for the amount of time you’d spend each day hugging, holding, and embracing your loved ones and what a gift that would be.
You grew up with mostly quick obligatory hugs that come with hellos and goodbyes. Relax into several daily pauses and “love interruptions.” Those moments are the ones you will look back on and long for so don’t be too busy to stop what you’re doing and embrace it. Remember that after your beloved papa passed away, you replayed your last hug with him over and over; and when your sister died, the thing you missed most was the feeling of holding her and feeling her arms holding you in an embrace. Family and friends are meant to hold each other. Physical contact doesn’t have to be sexual or romantic to be loving and nurturing. “With a 20 second hug or a six second kiss, you’re both secreting oxytocin. That creates a sense of psychological safety, connection, and bonding.”
-The Gottman Institute. Touch heals.
10. Mediate. It’s not a religious thing, it’s a brain thing. It shocks you every time a religious friend thinks meditation is an act against God. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, sitting in stillness is sitting with God; so get over your judgment and everything you’ve heard and think you know about it. Call it prayer if the word “mediation” is a trigger. Speaking of prayer, that will be a constant and a saving grace to get you through the worst of times and help you stay focused on gratitude during the best of times.
A reminder to all readers, faith doesn’t have to be in God and God isn’t aligned with only one religion. Faith is simply a belief is something greater than ourselves, be that the universe, or our higher selves. Sit in stillness and learn to integrate all parts of yourself from good to bad, saint to sinner, happy to sad. Call it whatever you want; but for the love of God, just sit and breathe and do nothing for at least 10 minutes a day. It feels so good when you get into it that you might eventually find yourself meditating for a couple hours a day or going on weeklong retreats; but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, for now, just commit to 10 minutes a day with a timer.
This will provide two major benefits: 1. Deep breaths to relax your mind and oxygenate your brain. 2. You will learn emotional self-regulation so that when life throws you a curve ball, you will know whether or not it requires an immediate survival reaction or a delayed and more thoughtful response. When we learn to regulate our emotions and accept all parts of ourselves, light and dark, this creates wholeness and integrity. You cannot skip this part, even on good days when you don’t feel you need it because it’s a practice like brushing your teeth and you wouldn’t go a day without brushing your teeth, would you? Meditation is energy hygiene: if you don’t do it, you spread your funk on others; and you can make yourself sick. Just take the 10 minutes and trust me, please darling.
Bonus Tip:
11. Create. Art heals, so paint, draw, or craft. Music heals, so sing, play an instrument, or dance. Writing heals, so write the poems, the short stories, the scripts, or even just the apologies you wished you’d received so that you aren’t waiting for others to give them to you before you heal from the harm that not having repair caused. This is your life, and you are here to live it; so heal, sweet friend, heal in every way you can, create the life you want, and take care of yourself.
Postscript:
Modern western medicine has its place. It’s great for emergency care of broken bones, stitches, necessary surgeries, research, and lifesaving hospitalization to treat infections. Antibiotics, anesthesia, EpiPens, and pain pills can save lives and ease suffering. I’m very grateful for emergency care … and … that’s not the same as healthcare. There’s one letter difference between meditate and medicate and it helps us remember that the human brain is capable of being its own pharmacy. Meditation does more for the care of one’s long-term health; and medication, in general, does more for one’s emergency survival. (Of course, there are exceptions, like insulin for type 1 diabetes and many other medically necessary treatments.) However, by and large, most chronic health issues like obesity, hypertension, and type-two diabetes, can be managed through lifestyle changes.
I learned firsthand how insurance companies stay profitable and how patients often suffer and go bankrupt as a result. (Talking to my future self here) Every medication you will be prescribed will have a side effect that requires at least one new medication to counter it. (Speaking in general) Sometimes when you find something that’s effective, your body can develop a dependency on it thereby losing its own ability to self-heal. Once you’re addicted to the benefits of a specific medication, you may discover that your insurance no longer covers it—as insurance companies formularies (the medications they cover) are allowed to change every three months.
You see, pharmaceutical companies rule the stock market and do not exist just to help patients; big business often places profit over patients. If your insurance continues to carry your preferred medications, sometimes they have shortages; and you or your children are suddenly thrust into withdrawals. Your health is in your hands! It requires actions that seem too simple to be effective but will remain the only consistent effective measures for maintaining health.
You can do this! I believe in you! But the only way to accomplish it is through gentleness and tons of self-compassion. It will take the consistency of baby steps over and over again, but the day will come when you start to feel better and realize that the majority of your experience with your health is in your own hands. I love you. Please stop going to doctors who gaslight you, go to school to become a medicine woman instead, and inspire and encourage others through the positive changes you make. I love you. I believe in you. I know you can do it! You’ve got this!
These 11 simple tips practiced with consistency can change your health and well-being.
1. Think
2. Speak
3. Boundaries
4. Nourish
5. Exercise
6. Sleep
7. Sunshine
8. Love
9. Touch
10. Meditate
11. Create
*Excerpt from Sage Words FREEDOM Book One
Photo Image: Sage Justice, wearing poet’s black, while sitting outside near a patch of lavender in France, at the Writers and Artists-in-Residence at Chateau d’Orquevaux. She is living her dream.
Sage Justice is an award-winning poet, author, critically acclaimed performing artist, and intensely sincere, bold humanitarian activist.
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Tags #Health #Wellness #Healing #Treatment #Cure #Howto #FeelBetter #welbeing #chrconicillness #Chronicfatigue #EDS #EhlersDanlosSyndrom #POTS #MCAS #MastCell #Allergies #LongCovid #Auntoimune #Fybromyalgia #Truth #Free #BestAdvice
Great article. Deserves placement on mirror or fridge to get daily or more frequent reminders. “Loss of playfulness” resonates with me.
This was such an important read. Thank you so much for this.